Some days are hard for me. I feel under appreciated, overworked, underpaid, never listened to, stressed out…you get the picture. Yesterday I was having one of these days. By the end of the day it took just about everything I had to not walk myself up to the principle and tell him that I was done. Yes, done. Done with all crap that goes with being a teacher. I went home hoping that a good night sleep would make it better. Today didn’t start out good. 1st hour I went into another classroom and as I walked out a student said, ‘she looks mean’. Apparently my frustration was showing through. I asked for a sign. Any sign. Something that told me I was supposed to be there. That what I am doing is worth something. That I wasn’t completely wasting my time. Well I got it. After lunch I went into my room and found this written on my board.
Someone sneaked in and wrote it. I was humbled. After lunch I saw signs all around me. I am lucky to be doing what I do. I hate how sometimes I forget just how lucky. I have the power to be an influence in 157 young teenage lives. Yeah, lucky.
Somewhere I heard that if you put a bar of soap in your bed it helps with crampy and restless legs. Yes, I thought the same thing you just did. "That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard." Friday night I had the worst restless legs. Friday night I was dreading going to bed cause I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. Friday night Bryan was out of town camping. So I tried it. No one was there to point and laugh at me. Friday night was the best night of sleep I have had in a long time. Was it all mental? Probably. Placebo effect? Probably. But hey, it worked. Next time I might have to take it out of the box though cause those corners are a little pointy...
2 years ago today I got married. I remember many people telling me that marriage is great but you have to really work at it. "It's hard work but worth it", "If you work at it everyday you will have a great marriage", "Whatever you do, keep working to have a better marriage". I was ready to work. I was determined and was fired up to work really hard at my marriage so that it would last forever. Did I miss something? Do they call this work? If so then I LOVE WORK! Maybe the trick is being married to your best friend. Or laughing everyday. Or texting during lunch. Or holding hands during church. Whatever it is I wouldn't call it work. I would call it blessed.
Things have been a little busy around here. Not complaining, just stating the obvious. Apparently when I am busy certain things get neglected (ok, I am talking about my house -it is a DISASTER) I hadn’t realized how bad it was getting until I got a picture message from Bryan the other day. It was a picture he had on his phone of our room when it was freshly painted, dusted, organized, with the bed made and the pillows perfectly arranged. The caption he wrote said, “Remember when our room looked like this?” I was not offended; in fact I thought he brought up a good point. Late that night before we got into bed I had a mom moment and said “Ok, we both have to clean up 5 things before we can go to bed.” I started picking up some clothes but Bryan just stood there. I urged him to hurry up but he didn’t do anything. I looked around on the floor to find something of his to give him to put away…looking…looking. “What? You mean all this crap is mine?!?!” He just smiled. He does that a lot. Even though he lives with a busy slob. Even though the busy slob “lets” him do the laundry, vacuum, unload the dishwasher, and make dinner many nights of the week. Sheesh, this girl is one lucky slob.
Today I had to buy new light bulbs from all the late night homework thats been going on around here. Bryan successfully burned out 3 of the 5 bulbs in the light fixture above the table.
It made me realize that in only 4 short months he would be done. That made my day.
Today MTV was in my classroom. They are following a student around for one of their shows. Another teacher is in my room that period but when I looked in the camera guy was videoing one of the signs that I have up in my room. It's one of my favorites.
It made my day that my classroom may be on MTV sometime (and I am very grateful that I won't).
It made my day when Bryan texted me this:
"Guess who I love more- you or all my tools...you." I was flattered.
It made my day today when our cable got shut off. We used up our free 6 months they offered us when we moved so now it is bye-bye cable and hello digital converter box. Awesome. Who needs cable anyway?
I remember once walking with my mom and a sibling (don’t remember which one) in a big parking lot. I don't remember where we were going or even what state we were living in at the time. I do, however, remember a game we were playing. One of us would shout out an object (parking space, tree, etc) and the others would explain how that object is like life or the Gospel. You know, like an object lesson.
I hadn’t thought of that experience until I had an unexpected object lesson yesterday. I went rock climbing with the Young Women in my ward. It was a 4 story rock climbing wall that that you climb up then repel down. I strapped on my harness and started climbing without a second thought. I was not nervous. I knew that I could do it. I am strong, I have long legs (which comes in very handy), a sturdy grip, and decent balance. I climbed up that wall and rang the bell of victory at the very top. I then thought of my options to get down. Let go, let go – that’s what I kept telling myself. The rope will hold you. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t trust that rope. It scared me. I couldn’t get myself to push off the wall and repel down even though I have done it many times before. I knew that I could climb all the way down. I trusted myself to climb down. So that’s what I did. I started to climb my way down. As soon as I took one step down, I heard from below me, “No, Sister Martin, you are not supposed to climb down! Push off the wall!” I know, I thought, but it’s hard. It’s just easier to trust myself.
I did actually convince myself to trust the rope and repel down. And it was fun. Some girls climbed up the wall just so they could float down. Me, I had to talk myself into it.
I thought about this all day today, you know the object lesson part of it. I think trust comes easy to some. I am not one of them. I am not talking about trusting your best friend, or a random rope, I am talking about trusting His plan. I am the type to want control. If I know what is coming then I can handle it. I am strong and trust myself. If I see that big boulder in front of me then I can climb it but don’t ask me to let go and trust that a rope will eventually get me around it. So today I make a goal to trust my Maker’s rope more- His perfect, strong, comforting, all knowing rope. I will do my best to loosen my white knuckle grip and trust. Trust that I will be ok, that the future is bright and happy, and that His plan is a perfect plan. In fact it might even be fun.
