Freedom

Yesterday I got 2 field trips. Ya, that's right. I haven't been outside of my hospital room for 6 days and I got out twice yesterday. I went to an ultrasound in the morning (all the way downstairs) then Bryan and I toured the NICU last night. It's amazing how I forgot how it feels to have a breeze going through my hair (Bryan was driving the wheelchair really fast - or at least it felt like it). I heard noises, I saw real people. in the real world. Weird. Life is happening without me. Oh well.

If anyone has ever been in a NICU, you had a humbling experience, I am sure. We got treated to a tour by one of the head Doctors (thanks to my Dr). Wow. I am amazed what the medical world can do. Wow. As we went around, I pictured myself on many of the hard wooded rocking chairs there rocking tiny babies connected to all kinds of monitors. And I felt comfort. Not comfort that we would be there soon, but comfort that whatever happens will be ok. Not the perfect situation, but we will be ok.

In the elevator I talked to a mom whose baby has been there for 3 months. The mom was beautiful, confident, and happy. And I am glad that I got to see that, because I needed to.

Next need: fresh air. Will you take a big deep breath of fresh air next time you go outside for me? It's been a while (12 days to be exact) since I have been able to do that, I appreciate it. Oh, the little things that we take for granted.

Some may think it's sad

Christmas time means doing puzzles in my family. Well, at least one puzzle per season. My parents got a new one this year and donated it to the cause (the bored in the hospital cause). Well, Bryan started it last night and by the time we woke up this morning it was done. He won't tell me how late he worked on it. My contribution? I helped pick out the edges last night. Yes, I helped find a measly 20 edge pieces on a 500+ piece puzzle. Anyway the puzzle says, "I'll be home for Christmas". My nurses all think it's sad. I don't. Can't you make home where ever you are? Sure Christmas morning will be different but it's ok. We are home. For now. And we are just fine.

As for today, we are trying some different meds to stop contractions that will not stay away. I am still not sure why these babies are in such a hurry to get here but they are not giving up easily.I hope this stubbornness doesn't last for the next 18 years...

Readjusting my swing

I don’t like playing baseball. Not to brag, but every other sport I can hold my own in. However, I have never been good at the baseball/softball thing. It’s not the catching, pitching, throwing, or even running that I am horrible at – it’s the batting. Yes, I have never been able to figure that one out. I can swing with all my might and totally miss the ball. And I hate it so usually I just avoid it all together. 

One summer I got to coach Primary softball. It was great. I learned how to help people (kids) that can’t hit the ball (like me) be able to get the bat on the ball so they can play. You have the kid take a swing then pitch the ball to the bat. Yes, you pretty much throw the ball at their bat. Works like a charm. They connect with the ball and go running. That’s my kind of softball. I swing and the ball will be there. I can do that.

Apparently (until Thursday) I was under the impression that I was playing Primary ball in life. I was ready to swing and was planning on the perfect pitch coming right at my bat. No adjusting, contact guaranteed. Here was the pitch:

Get pregnant in July, work during a healthy pregnancy until about spring break (when I have to stop because I am too uncomfortable and big), in April give birth to a 8 pound chubby-cheeked baby (we like big babies in our family), then be done with teaching.

Life is not like primary ball. In fact sometimes you get a pitch so wild that you say, ‘Wait a minute, was that one for me? That’s not fair. The girl right before me got an easy one right to her bat.”

Here’s what my pitch looks like now. On Thursday I left school for a regular doctor’s appt. They discovered that I was having contractions (that I couldn’t feel) and was sent to the hospital ASAP.  Friday an ambulance took me to a different hospital better equipped to stop my labor or take care of tiny babies should they refuse to stay in. Although they have managed to stop the contractions through lots of drugs, I am here to stay for a few weeks. Hospital. Bed rest.  Weeks. Brutal. Talk about a wild pitch. 

So we are finding ourselves readjusting. Readjusiting to living in a hospital room, having a career end way sooner that expected, long days of uneventful bedrest, and possibly tiny babies sometime in the future (but let’s hope not too tiny).

So, maybe now I will keep my blog updated. Although, I am pretty sure that I will run out of things to blog about…considering my entire life now exists in a tiny little room. But it will be worth it It just will take some readjusting.

Making their (umpteenth) debut

One of the good things about being pregnant with twins is that automatically you are 'high risk'. That's not the good part so keep reading. Being high risk means ultrasounds galore. At special high risk centers with their fancy million dollar machines. My doctor told me that I could have an ultrasound every week if I wanted. And my insurance covers it. All. So we have been able to see the little goobers go from blobs with flickering heartbeats to aliens to fat necked, big headed gummy bears to yes, finally little human looking babies.

Today we went and confirmed the fact that our babies do have genders and that several specialists have been right all along. The pics aren't great because things are getting pretty crowded in there.

Please meet

baby boy Martin. If you look close you can see a foot (which does not belong to him) by his face in the background. More on this later.

And now meet

baby girl Martin. We didn't get many good pics of her today. Frankly, I don't blame her for being difficult. She was having a rough day for several reasons.

1. She is on the bottom and is getting smashed by her brother, who by the way, weighs 2 ounces more than her. He was all stretched out and she was, well, smashed.
2. Her brother kept being a brother and was putting his bum right in her face. Poor thing.
3. She had the hiccups.I don't know about you but it ticks me off when I have the hiccups.

After watching these two for an hour I promptly came home and ordered several books online on how to raise twins. We are going to have our hands full.

Overdue

Well, I guess life happens whether you blog about it or not. Here’s an update over the last 4 months. Yikes, that’s a really long time.

We are feeling rather grown up around here lately. First, Bryan got a job at an engineering firm here in town. He loves it and I get to learn all about dams, water pipes, traffic intersections, drainage, and the latest computer programs. Kinda fun.

Second, we are cookin’ up ourselves a little family. The 2 little ones will be joining us in April (or odds are a little earlier). We are still a little overwhelmed (and I am more than a little sick).  I may or may not have told the Dr. to “shut up” when he told us there was 2 little ones in there. Bryan may or may have not only said, “That’s crazy” over and over during the appointment. I am starting to look pregnant and my students have all figured it out by now which brings up some very interesting and valuable teaching conversations which often start with, “Was it an accident?” Gotta love teenage thinking. We don’t know genders yet but know that they are fraternal not identical. We are excited and nervous all at the same time.

Strike

I think that I accidentally went on a blogging strike. It's been a while and I am sick of looking at my prom picture. Plus, yesterday I realized that soon my summer will be half over. What?!? Half over? Life is so not fair. My stack of summer reading books is still dusty and I do not have one tan line. Not one.

It has been a busy summer though. Full of dentist and doctor appointments, moving to a different classroom, and of course girls camp! 3 years in a row, 3 different wards in 3 different stakes. Thank goodness we are here to stay for a while. I love these gals.

 Hope the first half of your summer has been great!

Prom 2010

The photographer apparently didn't realize that I was a teacher and timidly asked if we wanted to hold hands for the picture. We both replied that we would. I bet she thought we were dating.
 
I was one of 11 modest girls there. Trust me, we counted. The place was packed full of girls pulling, tugging, shifting, and adjusting while I was completely comfortable, thank you very much.

And yes, that is the same skirt I wore 7 years ago at my brother's wedding.

Graduation

 We are officially all grown up and graduated!

My mother horsey

 No my mother does not normally look like this. I love this picture...it was silly day (or something) in her kindergarten class. This is what she came up with.

On this day I would like to wish my mother horsey a happy Mothers Day. You see, when my little brother (soon to be a missionary in Florida) was little and my mom was trying to teach him manners she would always tell him to say, "thank you mother dear" when she did something for him. He, being so sincere, started saying, "thank you mother horsey". It took her a while but she figured out that he was just switching the animals, you know, deer to horse. So cute. We still use it today.

My mother dear is the best. She is the perfect blend of silly (see picture above) and serious. She has a deafening whistle and a killer creative brain (which I tap into quite often).

Thanks mom for all you do. Thanks for texting me even though it takes so long since you aren't very good at it yet (but getting better). Thanks for coming to all my games when I was growing up. Thanks for being 'cool' to all of my friends. Thanks for listening and caring. Thanks for being my mom. I hope you know that we appreciate you everyday, not just today.

Rockin

I came home from work today to find a boulder on my bed. Bryan is gone for the weekend and my first impression was that he left me a big rock to snuggle with in his place. Interesting.

 Then I looked a little closer.

Sorry it's blurry; it says:

I'll go to prom with you because you ROCK.

(It was the manliest answer I could think of)

Now if I can just figure out how to get that thing off of the bed (I can't believe how heavy it is).

Vote yes

Rarely (almost never) do I believe that raising taxes is the answer to any problem. However, I am writing to encourage (ok, beg and plead) you Arizonians to vote YES on Prop 100. This temporary 1% sales tax will go to education. We need your vote. Everyone. We have already cut so much and the additional cuts that will have to take place if this doesn't pass are devastating. It's scary. Please, vote yes on May 18th.

I hope he says yes

{Totally cheesy - I know}

 They asked me to help at Prom. I said, "OK" then got all gitty trying to think of a way to ask my man. I googled it and even asked my students and this is the best I came up with (quick and low budget). Kinda lame but I am pretty sure he will say yes anyway. Not many people get to go to Prom with their hubs. Sweet.

A shout out to my old man

This weekend my dad (aka Lieutenant Colonel Kupfer) officially retired from the Air Force. (Which is why it is OK that I just referred to him as my old man even though he really isn’t that old.) While I didn’t get to go, it was in California and on a school day, I was thinking about it all day. Weird. He has been in the military since I was 4. Ten years ago he switched from active duty to the reserve and has used every vacation day from his civilian job, every day off, and lots of weekends away from home doing Air Force stuff to protect our great country. I am happy for him but a little sad too. Here are a few of my feelings.

Dear dad,
I love how you have to report to the military whenever you leave the country because it’s a matter of ‘national security’. I am glad that will continue even though you are retired.

It was fun that Christmas when you had to go on alert and we got to celebrate Christmas a few days early.

I loved coming with you on ‘take your daughter to work day’ at Cornell. It was there I learned how to play minesweeper on the computer. And how to yell at cadets to get in a straight line.

Sorry that you had to deal with your boss when our base neighbors complained that my friends and I kept throwing plums over their fence onto their trampoline. They were mean and totally deserved it.

Thanks for trusting me enough to let me babysit for the base commander’s kids. They were really nice and had good food.

Sorry about teasing you that your job sounded like a video game. Space Command? Come on, that one was just too easy.

Thank you for teaching our family that keeping our wonderful country free takes a lot of sacrifice, time, and energy. Thank you for giving up your vacation time, your breaks, many of your holidays, and your life to be ready to launch missiles, monitor satellites, and keep us all safe in our country. We all owe you big time. Now go take a vacation.

Love your military brat daughter,
Karen

One of them days

Some days are hard for me. I feel under appreciated, overworked, underpaid, never listened to, stressed out…you get the picture. Yesterday I was having one of these days. By the end of the day it took just about everything I had to not walk myself up to the principle and tell him that I was done. Yes, done. Done with all crap that goes with being a teacher. I went home hoping that a good night sleep would make it better. Today didn’t start out good. 1^st hour I went into another classroom and as I walked out a student said, ‘she looks mean’. Apparently my frustration was showing through. I asked for a sign. Any sign. Something that told me I was supposed to be there. That what I am doing is worth something.  That I wasn’t completely wasting my time. Well I got it. After lunch I went into my room and found this written on my board.

 

Someone sneaked in and wrote it. I was humbled. After lunch I saw signs all around me. I am lucky to be doing what I do. I hate how sometimes I forget just how lucky. I have the power to be an influence in 157 young teenage lives. Yeah, lucky.

p.s. Keep the signs coming.

By golly, it works!

Somewhere I heard that if you put a bar of soap in your bed it helps with crampy and restless legs. Yes, I thought the same thing you just did. "That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard."  Friday night I had the worst restless legs.  Friday night I was dreading going to bed cause I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. Friday night Bryan was out of town camping. So I tried it. No one was there to point and laugh at me. Friday night was the best night of sleep I have had in a long time. Was it all mental? Probably. Placebo effect? Probably. But hey, it worked. Next time I might have to take it out of the box though cause those corners are a little pointy...

So when does the work start?

2 years ago today I got married. I remember many people telling me that marriage is great but you have to really work at it. "It's hard work but worth it", "If you work at it everyday you will have a great marriage", "Whatever you do, keep working to have a better marriage". I was ready to work. I was determined and was fired up to work really hard at my marriage so that it would last forever. Did I miss something? Do they call this work? If so then I LOVE WORK! Maybe the trick is being married to your best friend. Or laughing everyday. Or texting during lunch. Or holding hands during church. Whatever it is I wouldn't call it work. I would call it blessed.

There once was a man who lived with a slob

Things have been a little busy around here. Not complaining, just stating the obvious.  Apparently when I am busy certain things get neglected (ok, I am talking about my house -it is a DISASTER) I hadn’t realized how bad it was getting until I got a picture message from Bryan the other day. It was a picture he had on his phone of our room when it was freshly painted, dusted, organized, with the bed made and the pillows perfectly arranged. The caption he wrote said, “Remember when our room looked like this?” I was not offended; in fact I thought he brought up a good point. Late that night before we got into bed I had a mom moment and said “Ok, we both have to clean up 5 things before we can go to bed.” I started picking up some clothes but Bryan just stood there. I urged him to hurry up but he didn’t do anything. I looked around on the floor to find something of his to give him to put away…looking…looking. “What? You mean all this crap is mine?!?!” He just smiled. He does that a lot. Even though he lives with a busy slob. Even though the busy slob “lets” him do the laundry, vacuum, unload the dishwasher, and make dinner many nights of the week. Sheesh, this girl is one lucky slob.

Happy Valentines Day

Picnics are cool.

It made my day

Today I had to buy new light bulbs from all the late night homework thats been going on around here. Bryan successfully burned out 3 of the 5 bulbs in the light fixture above the table.

It made me realize that in only 4 short months he would be done. That made my day.

Today MTV was in my classroom. They are following a student around for one of their shows. Another teacher is in my room that period but when I looked in the camera guy was videoing one of the signs that I have up in my room. It's one of my favorites. 

It made my day that my classroom may be on MTV sometime (and I am very grateful that I won't).

It made my day when Bryan texted me this:
"Guess who I love more- you or all my tools...you." I was flattered.

It made my day today when our cable got shut off. We used up our free 6 months they offered us when we moved so now it is bye-bye cable and hello digital converter box. Awesome. Who needs cable anyway?

unexpected lesson

I remember once walking with my mom and a sibling (don’t remember which one) in a big parking lot. I don't remember where we were going or even what state we were living in at the time. I do, however, remember a game we were playing. One of us would shout out an object (parking space, tree, etc) and the others would explain how that object is like life or the Gospel. You know, like an object lesson.

I hadn’t thought of that experience until I had an unexpected object lesson yesterday. I went rock climbing with the Young Women in my ward. It was a 4 story rock climbing wall that that you climb up then repel down. I strapped on my harness and started climbing without a second thought. I was not nervous. I knew that I could do it. I am strong, I have long legs (which comes in very handy), a sturdy grip, and decent balance. I climbed up that wall and rang the bell of victory at the very top. I then thought of my options to get down. Let go, let go – that’s what I kept telling myself. The rope will hold you. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t trust that rope. It scared me. I couldn’t get myself to push off the wall and repel down even though I have done it many times before. I knew that I could climb all the way down. I trusted myself to climb down. So that’s what I did. I started to climb my way down. As soon as I took one step down, I heard from below me, “No, Sister Martin, you are not supposed to climb down! Push off the wall!” I know, I thought, but it’s hard. It’s just easier to trust myself.

I did actually convince myself to trust the rope and repel down. And it was fun. Some girls climbed up the wall just so they could float down. Me, I had to talk myself into it.

I thought about this all day today, you know the object lesson part of it. I think trust comes easy to some. I am not one of them. I am not talking about trusting your best friend, or a random rope, I am talking about trusting His plan. I am the type to want control. If I know what is coming then I can handle it. I am strong and trust myself. If I see that big boulder in front of me then I can climb it but don’t ask me to let go and trust that a rope will eventually get me around it. So today I make a goal to trust my Maker’s rope more- His perfect, strong, comforting, all knowing rope. I will do my best to loosen my white knuckle grip and trust. Trust that I will be ok, that the future is bright and happy, and that His plan is a perfect plan. In fact it might even be fun.

These people make me happy

And yes, I did just refer to my family as "these people".

 

 

 

my new best friends

I have some new best friends. Wanna meet 'em?

Here is the first one. Isn't it cute? Light little fluffy balls. I call him strep (it's short for Streptococcus ). He has visited me multiple times this year.

Here is my BFF number 2.

CVS and Walgreens have a little clinic. It is brilliant. I walked into CVS and walked straight into the office for a strep test, payed 27 dollars (thanks insurance) and walked away with 10 days of Penicillin today (oo, maybe penicillan can be my best friend #3).

I hope whoever came up with this is a billionaire. Tell him I said hi if you ever go. Afterall, we are BFFs now.